I hate Dane Cook

I always get more comments and responses when I go negative, like I did with my last post, and while I try to avoid that for the most part (since I have a reputation with almost everybody who knows me as being excessively negative already), I'm going to succumb to temptation once more...

There are a lot of celebrities whose fame is perplexing, and doesn't quite seem to correspond with their level of talent. There are movie stars (Ben Affleck), TV stars (pick any reality TV host or contestant), musicians (Green Day), artists (Anne Geddes comes to mind, although "artist" is really pushing it), novelists (Dan Brown), and... miscellaneous, I guess (Paris Hilton).

Most of the time those people don't bother me. If people like them, or pay attention to them for reasons I can't figure out, that's fine. And believe it or not, I don't think I'm better than those people, although I certainly come off that way a lot of the time.

Well, like I did before with the Red Hot Chili Peppers, it's time to admit that sometimes people's taste pisses me off.

The point of all that crap being: I fucking hate Dane Cook.

Dane Cook is to stand up comedy what the Strokes are to music: all style, no substance. Dane Cook seems to mistake yelling a whole bunch as an adequate substitution for things that are actually funny.

Worst of all? He steals jokes!

Pretty much everything about him pisses me off though. His stupid "Dennis the Menace, but foul-mouthed" schtick. His hideous wife-beater. His manic stage movements that seem to distract people from the fact that he's not actually saying anything remotely funny. Basically, everything about him screams, "I am an idiotic frat dude and if you have no intention of actually thinking about why or if something is funny, you will love me!"

He's like some kind of cretinous combination of David Cross and George Carlin, without the wry outrage of the former and without the wit of the latter.

Ugh. I've run out of indignancy for tonight. I just had to get that off of my chest.