oh no. oh god no

Have you got two and a half minutes? Here, check this out:



All I can say is NOOOOOO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.

Wait, I can say more.

Let's take a look at the cast of characters: we've got a Jude, Lucy, Prudence, Sadie, JoJo, Desmond, Max (which I can only assume is short for Maxwell), Bill, and of course Mr. Kite (played by Eddie Izzard). I didn't have the patience to look at the whole thing, but I'm going to assume that there's a Michelle, Martha, Julia, Doctor Robert, Pam, Eleanor (Rigby), and AAAGGGGHHHHHHHH GOD IT'S SO GRATINGLY "CLEVER" I WANT TO SHOOT SOMETHING.

Now look, I know this kind of crap is inevitable. I Am Sam did that whole "Beatles-cover" shtick too, and that actually resulted in several listenable tracks... ok, two I guess, but that's an argument for another day.

The point is, this sort of crap should usually be relegated to braindead musical theater shows, where a bunch of struggling actors dress up in the most obnoxious 1980s clothing imaginable and sing a bunch of Billy Joel songs that have been loosely slapped together into some kind of idiotic haphazard story, so that baby boomers can go and have fun and pay $35 to hear inferior versions of songs they've heard several million times since they were 13.

And if they did that with the Beatles, I'd have no problem with that. Hell, they did it with the Beach Boys, they might as well. And it would be ok because the whole thing would be completely under my radar, and I could be blissfully unaware of the whole thing, and not hear a thing about it until the touring production of "A Day in the Life, Featuring the Music of the Beatles" came to the Forrest Theatre for a week, and then I'd be mildly annoyed because somebody would say "Hey Tom, you going? Heh heh heh," just to be a wiseguy, but still, I wouldn't really care.

But no. It HAD to be a damn movie. AND LOOK HOW FUCKING SERIOUSLY THIS THING IS TAKING ITSELF. God. The plot synopsis on the imdb describes it as "a fictional love story set in the 1960s amid the turbulent years of anti-war protest, the struggle for free speech and civil rights, mind exploration and rock and roll." Cool. I remember that VH1 miniseries too. Not to mention Forrest Gump.

God. This thing needs to come out and flop so I can forget it ever happened.

EDIT: this was posted at first with a completely different video embedded other than the one I wrote about. I'm assuming that any reasonably intelligent person could figure out that the text and video did not correspond. But I fixed it now. All is well.