Philly sports are in a slightly less dire situation

Let's start with the Eagles, who beat the Panthers Monday night in what was apparently a very exciting win (I didn't see the second half because of work). Sure, it's just one win, but still... it's one win! That's exciting these days!

Jeff Garcia: 300+ yards, 3 TD passes, no interceptions. Any of you guys still want A.J. Feeley in there? And let's not forget that he basically outperformed Peyton "God's gift to quarterbacking" Manning last week (not that Manning had to actually do anything to lead the Colts to their blowout win).

Then I read this: "The Eagles took the lead when their offense was set up by a Brian Dawkins interception of a bad passed caused by pressure from the defensive line." Hell yeah! About damn time those guys showed up. The defense didn't seem to play all that great, and Jake Delhomme had way better stats than he should ever be allowed to get, considering that he's Jake Delhomme, but the important thing is that they didn't give up more than they gained, and they made some big plays to seal the win.

A few more games like that and the Eagles might just earn the right to get blown out by New Orleans in the first round of the playoffs (the implicit prediction there is that Chicago and Seattle are getting the byes).

Moving on, the Phillies may have lost out on the big power hitters, but who wants to be stuck paying $136 million to Alfonso Soriano until he's an old man, anyway? Chicago is going to be dying to get rid of that contract in a couple years, like Texas was with Alex Rodriguez and Boston is every offseason with Manny Ramirez (and you can see Soriano becoming a huge pain in the ass and demanding a trade like those two guys too, if the Cubs don't start winning right quick). And like the Astros will be with Carlos Lee soon enough. Soriano might come back full circle to the only team that could afford him, the team that traded him to get A-Rod in the first place. You heard it here first, folks: Fonzi a Yankee again by 2010.

Anyway, the Phillies signed Not-Randy-Wolf to a three year deal, completing a rotation that looks like it could easily be one of the best in the NL. And Adam Eaton finally gets to play for the team that drafted him. It's not quite Peter Forsberg's 13-year Philly homecoming, but it's nice anyway. (And that Forsberg trade was still a great deal in hindsight; wouldn't you much rather have our amazing memories of the Eric Lindros era than wonder what could have been if the Flyers had just kept the 50 guys and $80 billion or so that became the foundation of Colorado's Stanley Cup-winning teams? Sure, we might have had a couple parades down Broad Street, but what's that compared to, say, Lindros getting hammered by Scott Stevens? Or Lindros' dad's pissing contest with Bob Clarke?)

Speaking of Forsberg, the Flyers are starting to play like professional athletes, slowly climbing their way up out of the cellar. Or they'll be out of the cellar soon. The point is, they're getting a lot better.

Plus, John LeClair was recently waived by the Penguins, and rumor has it the Flyers are interested. I think that's a good idea. Philadelphia has a long-standing tradition of bringing back our aging former stars for one last futile gasp at glory. Everybody from Hugh Douglas to Ron Hextall all the way back to Jimmie Foxx has done it. Hell, even Rocky Balboa's making another go of it. Let's add ol' Johnny LeC to the list! I can just see Allen Iverson returning to the 76ers in six or seven years after being traded at the end of this year, playing second fiddle to some guy who's a freshman in high school right now, and finally admitting that maybe, just maybe, even he needs to practice now and then.

And the 76ers, they're looking up too! They've got... uhh.... hmm..... Oh, I got one! Remember when Mo Cheeks helped that girl sing the national anthem when he was with Portland? What a great guy! (Wait, actually that was a really heart-warming moment.)

One final note: did anybody see Sylvester Stallone at the Eagles game last night? He was never exactly the most handsome guy in the world, even if he's always been ridiculously ripped, but his face has definitely suffered from significant droopage and a little bloat over the past few years. Combine that with his weird, outdated haircut, and you know what? The New Yorker who's been posing as a Philadelphian all these years is actually starting to look like one of those weird, wrinkled Italian guys you see in South Philly. You know, the guy who's had season tickets to the Eagles since they opened up the Vet, who's capable of drinking an entire case of Budweiser before 1 pm on a Sunday, and who still goes to games at the Linc wearing his Kelly green Seth Joyner jersey that he bought in 1991 (or he would if it still fit him). That's what Stallone looks like now. Except he's still from New York, he's still a phony, and he still only ever comes here when he wants people to go to another Rocky movie or buy his book. See you when you need press for Rocky VII, Sly.