The "tempest in a teapot" story of the century can be found right here.
I'm sure that most of you have heard about that by now (and by "most" I mean "3 of the 4 people reading this"), so I'm not going to write about all the details. I just want to vent about how idiotic the whole story is.
Let's start with this paragraph: "Assistant Attorney General John Grossman called the light boards 'bomblike' devices and said that if they had been explosive they could have damaged transportation infrastructure in the city."
By this logic, I could be arrested and charged with a felony for driving my car on a road in Boston. Cars can have bombs in them! If my car had a bomb in it it certainly could have damaged transportation infrastructure, right?
Never mind that these "bomblike" lightboards had been in the city for three weeks without any problem, or that they have also been in nine other cities (including Philadelphia) without incident. Nope. A couple phone calls to the police, and suddenly the bomb squad has to come out, shut down the whole area, and detonate a Lite-Brite of a cartoon moon man giving the middle finger in a controlled explosion.
But for now, let's go back to the news story for a second: "Boston Police Commissioner Edward Davis called the stunt 'unconscionable,' while Boston Mayor Thomas Menino called it 'outrageous' and the product of 'corporate greed.' Democratic Rep. Ed Markey, a Boston-area congressman, added, 'It would be hard to dream up a more appalling publicity stunt.'"
Read that again: "It would be hard to dream up a more appalling publicity stunt."
Ed Markey may be lacking in the imagination department, but then again, he is a professional politician, so it's not that surprising (see, I can rag on Democrats too). Either way, that quote is pretty symbolic of the whole reaction to this. Or maybe a harmless viral marketing campaign that didn't affect a soul until the city of Boston went nuts over it is, in fact, the most appalling publicity stunt ever.
It makes me wonder what would happen if I called my local police and said, "Yeah, I'd like to report an emergency. There are all these big blue boxes with small openings at the top all over the place. There's one at 42nd and Pine, another at 43rd and Spruce, and still another at 43rd and Chester! And every night at 5:00 this guy in a blue uniform-type outfit comes and does something with it. Probably fine-tuning the timer in the bomb!"
Maybe I could get mailboxes removed from the entire city.
Meanwhile, you can bet that Aqua Teen Hunger Force will have the highest ratings of its entire run now, after news outlets across the country have been forced to offer some sort of explanation of what the show is.
Anyway, I'm sure somebody out there is thinking "I'd rather have this than terrorist bombings all across the country," and I guess I can't really argue with that, but it still wouldn't hurt to use a little common sense one in a while.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
blog
blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog
right?
right?
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Eagles 23, Giants 20
I'm just going to go ahead and say what everybody else is obviously thinking:
The biggest reason the Eagles won their playoff game today against the New York Giants?
#10.
Koy Detmer.
KOY.
IS.
OUR.
BOY.
See. David Akers knows. And that's not a typo in that picture. David Akers just doesn't feel the need to pronounce "ing" in its entirety when talking.
I missed the poor sadsack excuse for an NFL quarterback. He was clean of his neckbeard for today's game, but that's ok. I'm sure he can probably grow it back instantly at will. I expect the usual scuzz and fuzz stretching three inches below his chinstrap next week against New Orleans. I was actually planning on praising the virtues of Koy even if the Eagles didn't need a last second field goal to win (this entry would be funnier if all Koy did was hold for three extra points or something), but that makes it better anyway.
And speaking of the New Orleans game, can you ever remember the Eagles playing a game in which their opponent would so clearly be the sentimental favorite for 99% of the country? I mean damn, the Eagles had a good Cinderella story going this season, but New Orleans? Forget it. We might be stuck with more idiotic "Eagles fans are horrible people" stories this week just to remind us who the good guys are.
The biggest reason the Eagles won their playoff game today against the New York Giants?
#10.
Koy Detmer.
KOY.
IS.
OUR.
BOY.
See. David Akers knows. And that's not a typo in that picture. David Akers just doesn't feel the need to pronounce "ing" in its entirety when talking.
I missed the poor sadsack excuse for an NFL quarterback. He was clean of his neckbeard for today's game, but that's ok. I'm sure he can probably grow it back instantly at will. I expect the usual scuzz and fuzz stretching three inches below his chinstrap next week against New Orleans. I was actually planning on praising the virtues of Koy even if the Eagles didn't need a last second field goal to win (this entry would be funnier if all Koy did was hold for three extra points or something), but that makes it better anyway.
And speaking of the New Orleans game, can you ever remember the Eagles playing a game in which their opponent would so clearly be the sentimental favorite for 99% of the country? I mean damn, the Eagles had a good Cinderella story going this season, but New Orleans? Forget it. We might be stuck with more idiotic "Eagles fans are horrible people" stories this week just to remind us who the good guys are.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Three things...
1) Happy 2007, y'all. I, for one, am hoping that 2007 is less timultuous for me than 2006, which saw me start a new job, move into a new apartment, and create and (possibly) destroy the most meaningful and fulfilling personal relationship I've had in years. My New Year's Resolution is to be slightly less insane than I was last year. And try to gain a little financial security, for Christ's sake. And maybe lose a little weight while I'm at it.
2) HOW 'BOUT DEM BOIDS?! NFC EAST CHAMPIONS, FIVE OUT OF SIX YEARS! BACK WHERE WE BELONG, BABY! I think at this point, despite the grave doubts many of us had just a few weeks ago, it is safe to say that last year was an aberration, and that the Eagles are still one of the elite teams of the NFC. The numbers speak for themselves: a 10-6 record, the #3 seed in the NFC, another division championship, a home playoff game against the struggling Giants. After the win two weeks ago against the Giants, I damn near laughed my dad out of the room for comparing this year's Eagles to last year's Steelers, who struggled for awhile, then put together an impressive winning streak and eventually won the Super Bowl. After the Cowboys game, and now the division championship, to say nothing of the fact that the Eagles' second string beat the Falcons' first string, it doesn't seem so ridiculous. Is there an NFC team you don't think the Eagles could beat right now? An AFC team?
3) HOW 'BOUT DEM FALCONS/COWBOYS/GIANTS?! It's a good time to be rooting against every team that we Eagles fans traditionally hate. The Cowboys lost to the worst team in the NFL today, even though the Lions had nothing to play for and the Cowboys had the NFC East crown in sight (which they would not have won anyway, since the Eagles beat the Falcons). Terrell Owens, of all people, led the NFL in dropped passes this year. The Giants, despite Tiki Barber's heroic efforts (and in the midst of all the complete assholes who play for that team, I still admire Tiki, even though I want to choke his brother to death, and even though a guy who publicly questions his coach's ability is always an asshole), are floundering, with a quarterback who will never come close to living up to his older brother's standard and without a defensive lineman who likes to bully women media members who are half his size. The Falcons, of course, have completed the worst free fall of any of those three, finishing this season with a losing record, and seemingly proving once and for all that Michael Vick is horribly overrated (which I've been saying at least since that playoff game in 2003 at the Vet that I was at) and an asshole to boot, and that Jim Mora, Jr. is no Jim Mora, Sr., who was nothing to begin with.
Well. Life is not too bad right now.
2) HOW 'BOUT DEM BOIDS?! NFC EAST CHAMPIONS, FIVE OUT OF SIX YEARS! BACK WHERE WE BELONG, BABY! I think at this point, despite the grave doubts many of us had just a few weeks ago, it is safe to say that last year was an aberration, and that the Eagles are still one of the elite teams of the NFC. The numbers speak for themselves: a 10-6 record, the #3 seed in the NFC, another division championship, a home playoff game against the struggling Giants. After the win two weeks ago against the Giants, I damn near laughed my dad out of the room for comparing this year's Eagles to last year's Steelers, who struggled for awhile, then put together an impressive winning streak and eventually won the Super Bowl. After the Cowboys game, and now the division championship, to say nothing of the fact that the Eagles' second string beat the Falcons' first string, it doesn't seem so ridiculous. Is there an NFC team you don't think the Eagles could beat right now? An AFC team?
3) HOW 'BOUT DEM FALCONS/COWBOYS/GIANTS?! It's a good time to be rooting against every team that we Eagles fans traditionally hate. The Cowboys lost to the worst team in the NFL today, even though the Lions had nothing to play for and the Cowboys had the NFC East crown in sight (which they would not have won anyway, since the Eagles beat the Falcons). Terrell Owens, of all people, led the NFL in dropped passes this year. The Giants, despite Tiki Barber's heroic efforts (and in the midst of all the complete assholes who play for that team, I still admire Tiki, even though I want to choke his brother to death, and even though a guy who publicly questions his coach's ability is always an asshole), are floundering, with a quarterback who will never come close to living up to his older brother's standard and without a defensive lineman who likes to bully women media members who are half his size. The Falcons, of course, have completed the worst free fall of any of those three, finishing this season with a losing record, and seemingly proving once and for all that Michael Vick is horribly overrated (which I've been saying at least since that playoff game in 2003 at the Vet that I was at) and an asshole to boot, and that Jim Mora, Jr. is no Jim Mora, Sr., who was nothing to begin with.
Well. Life is not too bad right now.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Attention Citizenry...
Due to lack of time, internet access, and motivation, I am canceling my year end countdown crap.
But because I'd already had this made up, here's the list:
1. Scott Walker - The Drift
2. Liars - Drum's Not Dead
3. Joanna Newsom - Ys
4. The Pipettes - We Are the Pipettes
5. Jim Noir - Tower of Love
6. Fern Knight - Music for Witches and Alchemists
7. Cyann and Ben - Sweet Beliefs
8. The Fiery Furnaces - Bitter Tea
9. Man Man - Six Demon Bag
10. Espers - Espers II
With the following honorable mentions:
- The Hold Steady - Boys and Girls in America
- Yo La Tengo - I Am Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat Your Ass
- Larkin Grimm - The Last Tree
- Squarepusher - Hello Everything
- Matthew Friedberger - Winter Women/Holy Ghost Language School
- Matmos - The Rose Has Teeth in the Mouth of the Beast
- Paul Simon - Surprise
So there you go. You don't have to wait two weeks for me to ramble on about everything this year.
"Interesting" notes:
-Last year's Greg Weeks Count was two (his solo album Blood is Trouble and Espers' The Weed Tree), and this year it's up to three (Espers II, Music for Witches and Alchemists, which he produced and sang and played guitar on, and Sweet Beliefs, which he sang on for a song).
- Four of the top 10 artists were on my list in either 2004 (Liars, Cyann and Ben) or 2005 (Espers, Fiery Furnaces). If we include honorable mentions and make these lists retroactive to include albums from 2004 that I didn't hear during 2004, Espers and the Fiery Furnaces would both have been on there too (Espers got an honorable mention, Fiery Furnaces were not on my radar screen until early 2005).
AND ONE MORE NOTE...
Gerald Ford has died, which means that the Democrats have also taken control of the House of Living Ex-Presidents, by a two (Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton) to one (Bush 41) margin. What a sweep!
But because I'd already had this made up, here's the list:
1. Scott Walker - The Drift
2. Liars - Drum's Not Dead
3. Joanna Newsom - Ys
4. The Pipettes - We Are the Pipettes
5. Jim Noir - Tower of Love
6. Fern Knight - Music for Witches and Alchemists
7. Cyann and Ben - Sweet Beliefs
8. The Fiery Furnaces - Bitter Tea
9. Man Man - Six Demon Bag
10. Espers - Espers II
With the following honorable mentions:
- The Hold Steady - Boys and Girls in America
- Yo La Tengo - I Am Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat Your Ass
- Larkin Grimm - The Last Tree
- Squarepusher - Hello Everything
- Matthew Friedberger - Winter Women/Holy Ghost Language School
- Matmos - The Rose Has Teeth in the Mouth of the Beast
- Paul Simon - Surprise
So there you go. You don't have to wait two weeks for me to ramble on about everything this year.
"Interesting" notes:
-Last year's Greg Weeks Count was two (his solo album Blood is Trouble and Espers' The Weed Tree), and this year it's up to three (Espers II, Music for Witches and Alchemists, which he produced and sang and played guitar on, and Sweet Beliefs, which he sang on for a song).
- Four of the top 10 artists were on my list in either 2004 (Liars, Cyann and Ben) or 2005 (Espers, Fiery Furnaces). If we include honorable mentions and make these lists retroactive to include albums from 2004 that I didn't hear during 2004, Espers and the Fiery Furnaces would both have been on there too (Espers got an honorable mention, Fiery Furnaces were not on my radar screen until early 2005).
AND ONE MORE NOTE...
Gerald Ford has died, which means that the Democrats have also taken control of the House of Living Ex-Presidents, by a two (Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton) to one (Bush 41) margin. What a sweep!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Tom's Favorite Songs of 2006
If you got here late (and by late I mean an hour ago or whatever), you can read my whole mission statement (why I'm still bothering to do this, etc.) in the post below this one. Or if you're too lazy to do that, just click here. This is slightly different from how I've done it before in that I'm mainly trying to pick songs that didn't end up on my albums thingy (although this is not the case with all of them). But anyway, here are some of my favorites of 2006:
Lily Allen - "Everything's Just Wonderful" - Lily Allen is surprisingly good to me, as I've written about before, and this was the song that hooked me. In fact, I specifically mentioned it before. It's just a good pop song, oozing effortless cool, with a wordy chorus that's an unlikely candidate to be suck in your head for days, but there it is.
Grandaddy - "Jeez Louise" - Grandaddy always sounded weird when they were really trying to rock out (it hurts having to write about them in the past tense). It seemed somehow out of their comfort zone, because even though everything was really loud, it was missing some intensity or something (think "AM 180"). In truth, this one would probably sound just as good if they dialed down the distortion and layered on their usual synths and whimsy and whatnot, because it's a good melodic rock song with all the usual harmonic twists that somehow make sense. That was their specialty over their last two albums, and even if it wasn't Earth-shattering, it had a tenacious consistency that grew on you at the most unexpected moments.
The Flaming Lips - "Yeah Yeah Yeah Song" - At War With the Mystics turned out the be the first Flaming Lips release in almost a decade and a half that wasn't a complete reinvention of what the Flaming Lips were, and by that lofty standard it was a disappointment. That's not to say it didn't have its moments, though. Neither Wayne Coyne nor Stephen Drozd have the most naturally great singing voices, so it was an interesting choice to start the album with 20 seconds of layered a cappella harmonies (compare that with the spacious bombast that opened up The Soft Bulletin), but it ends up working. "Yeah Yeah Yeah Song" is about as close as the Lips ever come these days to being a normal rock band, which says a lot about how delightfully weird they are, especially when those odd harmonies come back for another minute during the bridge.
Belle and Sebastian - "Song for Sunshine" - I described this as something like "Sly Stone verse with a Todd Rundgren chorus" when I first talked about The Life Pursuit, and that still holds, but hey, it's still a great song. It's hard to believe this is the same band who recorded If You're Feeling Sinister (people who got on the B & S bandwagon late are likely to be confused with the "twee" tag that used to haunt them), and I like the more recent outings considerably less than the old, but who doesn't? It's not like they don't still have great moments.
Zero 7 - "You're My Flame" - A lot of this list is shaping up as a tribute to past years' "best of" artists. That's an accident. But I still like Zero 7, even as they keep on shifting from "groovy downtempo act" to "indie soft-rock." "You're My Flame" is a song that never would have ended up on their first album, but it's still a fun dose of soul-inflected electro-pop.
Scritti Politti - "Dr. Abernathy" - Listening to, of all people, Scritti Politti in the year 2006 seems like an outrageous anachronism (popular bands from the 80s seem connected to their time frame in a way nobody else is), but I'll be damned if White Bread, Black Beer isn't actually way more listenable than the ultra-sterile mechanized pop of their 80s heyday. As long as Andy Partridge isn't making music these days, this is the next best thing. Also, how is it possible that Green Gartside is 50 years old? His voice is still impossibly smooth and bright. He must drink nothing but honey and green tea.
Stereolab - "Vodiak" - I'm not sure if this counts, coming as it does from a b-sides compilation, but I didn't hear it until 2006, so here it is. Picking one song from any given Stereolab album can be damn near impossible, but this one best embodies the outright coolness of the band. Splatty 60s organ? Check. Driving Neu!-style beat? Check. Synth beeps and blips? Check. Two or more unrelated female vocal parts? Duh, of course. They could keep doing this forever, and I will always dig it.
Justin Timberlake - "My Love" - Come on, you know I had to have this one on here. Just try to think of a hit single that has been as popular as this one, but also sounded this idiosyncratic and unlike anything else, while also happening to be a brilliant song. What's the list of songs that fit those criteria? "Good Vibrations," and then what? "Hey Jude," maybe? "Tiny Dancer?" "What's Going On?" That's not bad company to be in. If you ask me, FutureSex/LoveSounds is a real snooze once you get past track 5, but Justin Timberlake has a few classic pieces of pop to his name already.
Mogwai - "Glasgow Mega Snake" - I told you I'd get to this one! (See last paragraph in the link.) The first song on Mogwai's album this year was called "Auto Rock," which just about summed up the ho-hum autopilot they seemed to be on for the most part, but "Glasgow Mega Snake" is something else. Everybody should download this and play it with your speakers turned all the way up sometime. Or blast it in the car sometime. It's the type of screaming, raging instrumental rock that Mogwai made their name with, that they do like nobody else. It's all the fury and intensity of "Mogwai Fear Satan" compressed down to three minutes. I can't think of any more superlatives to use.
So that's that. Coming soon: album runners up.
Lily Allen - "Everything's Just Wonderful" - Lily Allen is surprisingly good to me, as I've written about before, and this was the song that hooked me. In fact, I specifically mentioned it before. It's just a good pop song, oozing effortless cool, with a wordy chorus that's an unlikely candidate to be suck in your head for days, but there it is.
Grandaddy - "Jeez Louise" - Grandaddy always sounded weird when they were really trying to rock out (it hurts having to write about them in the past tense). It seemed somehow out of their comfort zone, because even though everything was really loud, it was missing some intensity or something (think "AM 180"). In truth, this one would probably sound just as good if they dialed down the distortion and layered on their usual synths and whimsy and whatnot, because it's a good melodic rock song with all the usual harmonic twists that somehow make sense. That was their specialty over their last two albums, and even if it wasn't Earth-shattering, it had a tenacious consistency that grew on you at the most unexpected moments.
The Flaming Lips - "Yeah Yeah Yeah Song" - At War With the Mystics turned out the be the first Flaming Lips release in almost a decade and a half that wasn't a complete reinvention of what the Flaming Lips were, and by that lofty standard it was a disappointment. That's not to say it didn't have its moments, though. Neither Wayne Coyne nor Stephen Drozd have the most naturally great singing voices, so it was an interesting choice to start the album with 20 seconds of layered a cappella harmonies (compare that with the spacious bombast that opened up The Soft Bulletin), but it ends up working. "Yeah Yeah Yeah Song" is about as close as the Lips ever come these days to being a normal rock band, which says a lot about how delightfully weird they are, especially when those odd harmonies come back for another minute during the bridge.
Belle and Sebastian - "Song for Sunshine" - I described this as something like "Sly Stone verse with a Todd Rundgren chorus" when I first talked about The Life Pursuit, and that still holds, but hey, it's still a great song. It's hard to believe this is the same band who recorded If You're Feeling Sinister (people who got on the B & S bandwagon late are likely to be confused with the "twee" tag that used to haunt them), and I like the more recent outings considerably less than the old, but who doesn't? It's not like they don't still have great moments.
Zero 7 - "You're My Flame" - A lot of this list is shaping up as a tribute to past years' "best of" artists. That's an accident. But I still like Zero 7, even as they keep on shifting from "groovy downtempo act" to "indie soft-rock." "You're My Flame" is a song that never would have ended up on their first album, but it's still a fun dose of soul-inflected electro-pop.
Scritti Politti - "Dr. Abernathy" - Listening to, of all people, Scritti Politti in the year 2006 seems like an outrageous anachronism (popular bands from the 80s seem connected to their time frame in a way nobody else is), but I'll be damned if White Bread, Black Beer isn't actually way more listenable than the ultra-sterile mechanized pop of their 80s heyday. As long as Andy Partridge isn't making music these days, this is the next best thing. Also, how is it possible that Green Gartside is 50 years old? His voice is still impossibly smooth and bright. He must drink nothing but honey and green tea.
Stereolab - "Vodiak" - I'm not sure if this counts, coming as it does from a b-sides compilation, but I didn't hear it until 2006, so here it is. Picking one song from any given Stereolab album can be damn near impossible, but this one best embodies the outright coolness of the band. Splatty 60s organ? Check. Driving Neu!-style beat? Check. Synth beeps and blips? Check. Two or more unrelated female vocal parts? Duh, of course. They could keep doing this forever, and I will always dig it.
Justin Timberlake - "My Love" - Come on, you know I had to have this one on here. Just try to think of a hit single that has been as popular as this one, but also sounded this idiosyncratic and unlike anything else, while also happening to be a brilliant song. What's the list of songs that fit those criteria? "Good Vibrations," and then what? "Hey Jude," maybe? "Tiny Dancer?" "What's Going On?" That's not bad company to be in. If you ask me, FutureSex/LoveSounds is a real snooze once you get past track 5, but Justin Timberlake has a few classic pieces of pop to his name already.
Mogwai - "Glasgow Mega Snake" - I told you I'd get to this one! (See last paragraph in the link.) The first song on Mogwai's album this year was called "Auto Rock," which just about summed up the ho-hum autopilot they seemed to be on for the most part, but "Glasgow Mega Snake" is something else. Everybody should download this and play it with your speakers turned all the way up sometime. Or blast it in the car sometime. It's the type of screaming, raging instrumental rock that Mogwai made their name with, that they do like nobody else. It's all the fury and intensity of "Mogwai Fear Satan" compressed down to three minutes. I can't think of any more superlatives to use.
So that's that. Coming soon: album runners up.
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